Let them be children, give them time to grow

It's a New Year, and we look froward to meeting all those little ones that are due to join us this year. So today I've written a blog for parents, be they old hands or first timers. These words are mine, they're not here to advise or lecture, but I hope they make you think!

They're so small

Now that I have a child, the whole world is a different place.

Being a parent changes you like nothing else in the world, this tiny human brings you a new perspective on everything. It doesn't matter how many books you read, classes you take or advice you are given; somehow you are never prepared.

The first few months are hard, you have this new responsibility - this tiny human whose cries vibrate around your heart and you'll do everything in your power to stop them being upset, to make everything right for your child.

Sometimes I changed to her favourite
Shuktara blanket to help calm her down

Except you don't know how, and your tiny human can't tell you how... and since you're not sleeping a full 6-8hrs a night it becomes really hard to guess. You read internet pages about week 1, week 2, week 3... everyone is telling you how your baby should be developing. No-one tells you why your baby has woken up grumpy and crying. Eventually you fall back on 'Hungry? Try feeding. Uncomfortable? Try changing. Scared? Hold baby and rock. Bright light? Move to a dark room / shady spot...Overworked? Perhaps a drive in the car' The guesses continue and sometimes a combination of all the things you try will work, sometimes they wont. You'll keep trying & never give up.

For each parent this tiny human takes your primary focus in life, so it's easy to forget little things like where you put down your glasses / house keys / coffee. It's often said that us women give birth to our brains, well we don't - it's just our entire focus is taken up by our child. Everything else is insignificant in comparison & with the sleep deprivation we just don't care about trivial things. We're trying to survive and do the best for our child.

Everyone you know is trying to help you survive your child growing up. People will bombard your email / Facebook / Google+ accounts with internet quotes & advice, and this doesn't stop when they're past the infant crying stage. Your friends & family have the best will in the world and all will wade in with their advice, observations, and well meant help. Nobody knows your baby like you do. You have to trust your instincts, learn what your baby needs - you know best. Really you do!

Dance in rainbows, enjoy childish things

My latest 'internet advice' is to smack my pre-school 3 year old to correct her behaviour, you may have seen it...smacking is supposed to result in respect for others. Babies arrive with their own basic, primeval personality - their neural pathways for basic survival are already there (fear, hunger, love, etc). Over the next 5 years they'll fine tune who they are with experiences & example; you can help shape the future but you'll never be able to change their core personality - literally their brains are not 'wired up' that way. Take care & remember that until they are 5, they're still learning - behaviour is a form of communication not a way to "get what they want" or "annoy".

I believe smacking a child that's upset will not result in 'respect for others'; it will not teach the child how to deal with the cause of the upset or help your child deal with the situation when it arises again in a more controlled manner. Until a child has learnt how to deal with a situation, every child needs to be guided through how to react. You as parents will know when your child is testing your boundaries; refusing to put on pyjamas at night, not eating supper but requesting sweets instead... Scenarios your child knows & usually behaves for but tries to change to their current will, well then you have to be strong and correct their behaviour as you see fit.

Being a parent is hard, but the rewards are immeasurable. I believe that you have to take care of yourselves, slow down and spend time with your little one. Help your child learn, show them by example the person you want them to be, include them in your family & friends activities, and enjoy their company. Fill them with a passion for life, a sense of wonder and self confidence to try new things. My child shows me a new way of seeing the world; we laugh, dance in rainbows and regularly go on adventures. We enjoy childish things because soon she'll want to do something else, something a little more grown up; like start her own family.

Thoughts in a faraway place

The Shuktara blankets & Rainbow makers are available, along with other child toys, at www.unikgifts.co.uk

The little dress for everyday

Yesterday’s blog was all about Ida’s party dress. Today’s blog is about Dangerbaby and what mischief she got up to in her pretty Annafie dress.

Dangerbaby made her play day in the garden all the more special with her Liberty dress.

She opted to wear her’s like every pretty dress should be worn with pumps and t-shirt while she played in the garden.

Haven’t we all worn our posh dresses to puddle jump or play in? If you weren’t allowed to, try it today. Wearing your pretty frock or special shoes to do everyday things makes you feel very special. Doing those simple things with a special item makes your smile in a very BIG way. After all who hasn't wanted to wear thier princess dress or spiderman outfit to school at some ocassion?

Dangerbaby's day went a little like this.

Dangerbaby had a tea part in her dress with her Teddies. They talked about who would be in charge of  watering the garden that day and whether the pink or yellow pot was best for making tea in.

She zoomed up and down the slide with bunny bunny and teddy stopping only so Mummy could snap a picture of all the fun.

When slide zooming was complete she had a quiet chat with her favourite companion, Bunny Bunny about how best she could improve her sliding technique tomorrow.

And at the end of a very busy day she had her milk with bunny bunny and thought about getting ready for bed while snuggled up under her favourite Shuktara blanket.

Dangerbaby made her special day of garden games all the more special as she wore her liberty dress.

All Annafie dresses are  hand smocked making them perfect for every little girls body shape. They all follow a traditional design and are perfect for today's little girls. Either worn like Ida and Kathryn's or worn with wellies to puddle jump in. For pre-walkers and tom-boy’s, Annafie will even make a romper style in one of the pretty floral fabrics to make it easier for crawling around. 

We hope you find your perfect dress like our girls have. 
When the rain stops we may even put on our pretty dresses and find afew big puddles to jump in!

http://www.unikgifts.co.uk/clothing/clothing_annafie.php

Operation: Visit Oompa Grampa

It's no secret that I spent most of my childhood abroad, my Dad's work took us all around the world. Which was very exciting and moulded me into the fine example of a human being that I am today [I can hear you sniggering... the cheek of it!]. I grew up with expecting people to have taken children all around the world, for me it was a fact of life.

Now as I sit here and prepare to take DangerBaby over the channel into mainland Europe, my perspective has changed. I started preparing mentally about a week ago, writing a small plan in my head with tasks to be completed by certain days, all ready and waiting to be finally checked off on one big checklist. If you could see the inner workings of my brain you'd think we were going on an expedition to undiscovered lands, not a trip to Germany.

Insurance, health cards, passports, first aid kit for baby, first aid kit for adults, mosquito repellents, entertainment systems, travel cots, booster seat high chair thingy, the list is endless. We're going for a long weekend not for months. But these are the things I use day in and day out with the little one (OK not the travel cot but her cotbed instead). If I remember correctly, I'm sure my parents just used to bung us in the back of the car with a rucksack with our favourite toys? We had lots of crazy adventurous holidays where we ended up in strange places unable to speak the language or find somewhere to sleep. When did the world change so much that I now have to write a full project plan just to leave the house for a few days?

I wonder, as a modern Mother, do I worry to much? Am I over prepared for this trip? Is our little holiday going to be less of an adventure because I have everything planned and have planned for every eventuality? Well no, I know that the best thing about plans is that there's always that one little chaos particle that crops up and you have to fly by the seat of your pants until you are back on track. I'm sure we'll have a few 'adventures' due to wrong turnings, late ferry boats, strange languages and places. It's these parts of the holiday I'm really looking forward to, as long as we have each other and Bunny Bunny it'll turn in one of our crazy family stories.

This holiday may have been planned like a military operation, but you can bet that Major Cockup and General Disaster will have made their on plans as well. Let battle commence! Wish us luck...

Turn off the TV and go and do something more interesting instead.

Our Sky box broke just before '3^rd & Bird' which is the start of our 'shut down' routine for DangerBaby. Now since she was poorly the 'shut down' routine of Cbeebies bedtime hour, bath, book and bed have been THE thing to calm DangerBaby down and put her in the right frame of mind for Zzzzz-ing the night away. So imagine the shock, no horror, when the TV is not on at the right time! She points, squeals and stands there looking at the TV and Sky box while Mummy presses lots of buttons (how unhelpful was the Sky call centre man... as one of my former projects I was appalled at his customer service if I was still wielding my big IT stick in BSkyB he'd have soon learnt a little about communication!!!!!).

So with unhelpful man from Sky not helping (the clue is in the description), it was TV off and entertain ourselves. Now in geek central (as u-ni-k IT HQ is known to some), we could have just moved to the soft room and watched the TV in there... or put 'Are you there Charley Bear ?'on the car DVD player... but we choose to take the lack of technology as a chance to return to some of the good old games that didn't rely on voltage or plastic throw away toys.

We used our Shuktara blanket to make a den, that we hid in and out of until running off with it over our head in the direction of the front door (Daddy DayCare was due home for work and you never know if you run at the door he may just appear... sometimes he does!). We picked up the knitted, sewn & stuffed body of a toy rabbit (I've yet to stitch them together and if it works may sell them on www.unikgifts.co.uk) and played ball. It was a lot of fun!

As we settled down , we did some singing on the sofa and drank some bedtime milk. Once we were all snug among our cushion mountain, we watched the birds chase each other around the garden. When Daddy came home it was time for bath, book and bed. Sure enough, the rest of the routine worked smoothly and by 9pm DangerBaby was in the land of Zzzzzz.

It was lovely to see her imagination work (apart from the bit where she picked up the matches from beside the log burner but that's another story), the pace of her games from tents, to hide and seek, to singing and dancing, to spotting animals and birds in the garden to telling Daddy all about it was amazing.

So my message today is simple: please remember to spend some time with your children playing without the TV on. They have so much to teach you. We forget that children (and babies) have a rich imagination that only need the simplest of toys to kickstart some magical game. So if you're looking for a gift to give to a small child, think outside of the box and give them something that makes them use their imagination!

(For inspiration visit www.unikgifts.co.uk or www.facebook.com/unikgifts where Anna or I will be more than happy to help you find the gift you need)